


Good Things Don't Happen To Heroes

by crypticKC



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Adoptive Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Alternate Universe - Royalty, Antarctic Empire, Canon is dead I shot it and hid it in an unmarked grave, Evil Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Kidnapping, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Technoblade Angst (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Villain Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), sleepy bois inc - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:16:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29660229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crypticKC/pseuds/crypticKC
Summary: "I wonder, Prince Technoblade, I really do… they say you're heartless, you know. A stone cold, ruthless killer. It makes me wonder…"Schlatt places a threatening hand on Tommy's shoulder."What information would you give me to protect your baby brother?"Or, when Tommy and Technoblade are both kidnaped, they have to face incredibly difficult decisions.Edit: Updates Tuesday and Friday :D
Relationships: Jschlatt & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Jschlatt & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s), Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 121
Kudos: 408





	1. Intruder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter CW: Mention of Nonconsensual Drug Use

The intruder stepped as lightly as he possibly could, knowing silence was the only thing that would allow him to survive the encounter. He was alone, having split off from the men he came with as they went to deal with the easier target. It was intentional, if he failed, the target would certainly kill him, but at least it would only be one casualty, as opposed to all of them dying. And those were the only two options, success, or obliteration. Such was the nature of his target.  
The man slept with an unnatural stillness, the rise and fall of his chest being the only thing indicating he was only sleeping.  
The intruder grips tightly onto the arrowhead given to him, drenched in sleeping potion. It was enough to incapacitate a normal man for days. Or, of course, a powerful piglin hybrid for a few hours.  
He embeds the arrow into Prince Technoblade's exposed arm, and swiftly backs away. Immediately, the man's eyes fly open, he's on his feet, sword in hand. He scans the room for disturbances, but it's too dark to see the particles of magic he's emitting, the invisibility potion is doing its job. He remains unseen.  
Technoblade shifts his attention to his forearm, assessing the wound there. He begins to stumble through his room, searching for something, but his motor functions are starting to slow. When he eventually falls unconscious, he’s caught noiselessly by the intruder, who then swiftly binds him, and carries him away.  
Success, then.  
When he reaches the rest, they already have the boy. He’s slumped over and tied, just like his brother. His group meets him halfway and helps him with his burden, as lugging around seven foot something of muscle around a castle quietly is not an easy task. They move to secure him to a horse, and then they can ride.  
The boy wakes during the journey, something that was not supposed to happen. He struggles in his bindings, and they begrudgingly must stop and re dose him with sleeping potion. They don’t have much left, a majority of it was used to bring down his brother, but they have no choice. Afterwards, their journey goes on without a hitch, and they're miles away when the sun finally rises on the Antarctic Empire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOOO KINGS WE ARE IN FOR A RIDE. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you very much for reading 💖 please let me know how often you recommend this be updated in the comments if you can!


	2. Phil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter CWs: Mention of Death, Mention of Panic Attacks (?) (if you squint)

King Philza prided himself on always being the first in the castle to wake, and the last to go to sleep. He was a king, and it only made sense that the king worked harder than anyone to make sure his nation was safe and well. He was up early that morning as usual, sipping hot chocolate with his breakfast. He eventually heard the murmurs of the next guard change enter, and he went to greet them, much like he did every morning. They were all very nice, and he enjoyed getting the opportunity to banter a bit before they went off to relieve the night guards of their posts, and he went to tend to his duties as king. He returned to the dining room only after he had spoken to them all to finish his breakfast. Before he could even sit back down, a guard rushes straight into the room, panic clear on his face.  
“King Philza, I- they’re dead, the guards- they- dead!”  
Meal abandoned, Phil immediately jumps up and goes to him.  
"Where? What happened?"  
"I- I was going to the east corridor, and I saw James, lying on the floor! I thought… maybe he was playing a joke, but he was covered in blood, and so were… so were all the other guards in the hall."  
Phil is enraged that someone would dare do something like this, break into his home, attack his guard like this,  
"Inform Lord Dream. Lock this fucking castle down! I want no one in or out until we figure out who's responsible. Fetch me my sons as well, please."  
Minutes afterward, Wilbur is stumbling down to the kitchens as well, not even bothered to change from his night clothes. Phil pulls him into a hug, running his fingers through in an attempt to calm himself.  
“Dad… how… so many people…” Wilbur says, voice breaking at the end. Ah, so he'd heard, then. Phil knows Wilbur was friends with many of the members of the guard, and though he doesn't have specifics on who they lost yet, he knows Wilbur's going to take this extra personally.  
“I don’t know, Will, and I’m so sorry...”  
Wilbur releases him from their embrace, and takes a breath to steady himself.  
“Where’s Tommy and Tech?”  
“Still waiting for them, and for Lord Dream. He’s going to head the investigation."  
Then, just for something to do as they waited, he suggests,  
"Come, help me clear this table, we’ll probably be needing the room soon.”  
Wilbur nodded, and they silently worked on moved plates and folded tablecloths. Phil knew it was a good idea to keep Wilbur's hands busy, even with the distraction, he was still fidgeting with anxiety. A guard enters the room again, and announces,  
“Lord Dream is here, sir. He sends his greetings, but uh, wishes to respectfully inform you he’ll be reporting straight to the crime scene.”  
Phil finds himself smiling, despite the situation. Dream had a very one track mind when he got focused on something like this, he really shouldn’t be surprised.  
“My other sons?”  
“About that, sir… they weren’t in their rooms?"  
"What?" Wilbur insisted, "That's ridiculous, where else would they be!?"  
"I… I'm afraid I don't know, my Prince…"  
Phil put a hand on his son's shoulder, a warning to calm himself.  
"Thank you very much, that will be all." Phil said kindly to the guard, who sheepishly scurried away.  
"Wilbur, I know you're stressed, but don't you snap at them. It's not their fault."  
"I'm not in the mood for a lecture Dad, I'm going to find Dream."  
"Will-" He tries to reach to stop him, but Wilbur's already out the door. Phil takes a minute to sigh, then begrudgingly follows him out.

As they near the corridor, the evidence of the massacre becomes apparent. More than once Wilbur has to stop and suppress a gag at the amount of blood. Eventually, in Technoblade's room, along with many other officials Phil requested, they find Dream. He's speaking quickly to another person, but when he catches sight of the King, he turns to them immediately, forgetting his conversation seemingly mid-sentence.  
"Highnesses, I have some bad news." He says to them both quietly, then, louder, to the entire room,  
"Can the King, Prince, and I have some privacy, please? Commence cleanup in the meantime."  
At his order, everyone swiftly files out of the room, though many of them shoot them curious looks. It's infuriating, especially when Phil's stress levels were already so high, but he finds he really can't blame them for their silent inquiries.  
"What's happened, Dream?"  
"At about 2am, a group of people snuck in and killed ten guards in this corridor. I don't know how they got in yet, but perhaps it'll be a relief to you to know your guards were killed quickly. They likely didn't even know. And-"  
"That's not a fucking relief to me, Dream, they're dead."  
Phil shot his son another harsh look,  
"Wilbur, if you can't handle this without being disrespectful-"  
Dream held up an impatient hand to silence them both.  
"I don't care about what either of you are bickering about right now, because Tommy and Technoblade were taken."  
Immediately, the two were unsurprisingly shocked out of their dispute.  
"What? How do you know?" Wilbur asked.  
"You haven't been in Tommy's room yet, have you? His bed was a mess."  
"He's a teenager." Wilbur spat.  
"That I'll agree with, and it's normal for teens to not make their beds. It's not normal for their beds to be destroyed, like they were flailing, or for there to be drag marks on the floor, is it? They were much more subtle with Techno, as you can probably tell, but look…"  
Dream pointed, and they both saw what he was referring to. Techno's sword, unsheathed, in the middle of the floor. No. No, Phil refuses to believe that-  
"You… you moved that. You moved that, right Dream? You did that?" Phil asked desperately. He had to have moved it, because Techno wouldn't go anywhere without it, and Techno wouldn't leave it unsheathed like that if he wasn't using it, and Techno wouldn't leave it in the middle of the floor…  
"I didn't, Phil."  
"You did."  
"Phil." Dream clapped a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to meet his eyes.  
"You know that I didn't. It was like that when I got here."  
A heartbeat goes by, and then Phil was moving without thinking, throwing himself out of the door and down the corridor, ignoring the confused stares from everyone he plowed through to get to Tommy's room. Because Dream had to be lying, something else had to be going on. It couldn't be- his sons couldn't be gone. Tommy's room was messy, just like it always was, right? His bed- oh…  
That… surely just the work of a nightmare, right? S- so what he hadn't had one of those in years? And… and…  
Shattered glass, on the floor right by Tommy's bed. When Phil kneeled to get a closer look, he sees the shards are yellow and black striped. Tommy's bee… the tiny glass bee his friend Tubbo had made and painted for him for his birthday. He had named it Beetrice.   
He would never have intentionally broken it.  
Alone now, and with the confirmation of his worst nightmares in front of his eyes, Phil found himself letting the dam break, all the stress of this morning, the loss of his guards, his _sons,_ he was sobbing into the floor, and for a period, never thought he'd find the will to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor Phil ): 
> 
> I think I've decided on updating twice a week ? what do we think pogchampers?
> 
> why'd I make dream the main detective/advisor? because I shot and killed canon last week, remember? I can do what I want


	3. Jschlatt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter CW: Mentions of Nonconsensual Drug Usage, Violence

Tommy woke with a headache and a stinging pain in his arm. Full awareness was slow to return to him, he felt like someone shoved his head full of cotton, and he was stuck trying to rustle through the fluff. Groaning, he flipped himself over and began to move to get out of bed, but was surprised when his arm didn't respond to him. Both arms remained behind his back, tied together, he realised. Well, that was abnormal. He feels like there's something he's forgetting here. 

He slowly opens his eyes, expecting to see the familiar setting of his room, maybe Tubbo standing over him giggling at his 'prank' of tying Tommy's hands, but all he sees is grey.

Tommy remembers it all with a flash. People in his room, holding him down, muffling his cries for help, something jabbing into his arm. Then, it's blank.

He takes deep breaths, trying to stave off initial panic. He pushes himself up as best he can without his hands, and tries to get a better look at where he was. 

It was a pretty plain room, two metal beds that were bolted to the floor, on opposite ends of the room. A door that appeared to lead to a bare bones bathroom, and another door he discovered he couldn't open. 

He's so distracted by being an expert detective, he doesn't register the fact that the second bed in the room was even occupied until the person in it moved, making him let out a string of surprised swears.

"Hey, mate, get your own weird mystery room why don't you? I was here first! …probably."

The guy did not move, probably still asleep, so Tommy felt okay creeping closer to look at him. He was huge, bigger than Tommy, which was probably why there were chains bolted into the wall next to his cell, and leading underneath his blankets. Presumably, chained onto his hands. Whoa, maybe he was like, a crazy serial killer! And that's why he was in jail! Tommy took another sly step closer, and actually saw a bit of the guy's head through an opening in his bundle of blankets. It held a mop of bright pink hair, something that threw Tommy totally off guard. The hell kind of weirdo had pink hair? He could only think of one such weirdo, his- _wait_.

Forgetting that this man could be a giant murdering stranger for all he knew, he jumped directly onto this person's bed. 

"Techno? _Technoblade?_ TECHNO IS THAT YOU?"

He kept furiously leaping and shaking him until he groaned, and rolled around. The blanket no longer concealing his face, Tommy found he was right. The chained man was indeed, his brother.

"TECHNOBLADE! TECHNOBLADE WE HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED! WAKE UP YOU BITCH!"

Techno eventually registered the motion, and instinctively reached to disarm the intruder disturbing him sleeping.

Something must have been really, really wrong, Tommy thought, because normally Techno could handle an assailant with one arm and half a brain, but now, he barely shoved Tommy off the bed when he woke with a groggy, 

"Heh?"

"TECHNOBLADE YOU IDIOT WE WERE KIDNAPPED AND NOW YOU ARE CHAINED TO THAT WALL AND DRUGGED I THINK! WAKE THE FUCK UP!"

Without even a thank you for his excellent summarization skills, Techno sat up, shook his head violently as if to clear it, and asked him,

"Kidnapped...?"

"Yes!"

"You sure?"

"Uh, absolutely sure, dumbass! This is not the castle! And if it is some secret room we have that we're in for some reason- you need to tell me NOW."

"I- what- no, this isn't the castle! Are you hurt?"

"No, you?"

"Nope. When did you wake up?"

"Few minutes ago." 

"See anyone?"

Tommy struggles with something he thinks he remembers, 

"Maybe, on a horse? On the way here? It was dark."

Techno nods, 

"What are those doors?"

"Bathroom, probably exit."

Techno ended his barrage of questions and began to inspect their surroundings, like Tommy had. He got cut short, though, when he stepped about two feet from his bed. For the first time, the two of them gave a good look at the chains holding Techno. They were pretty solid, and strangely, incredibly short. Techno couldn't move that much at all. Not one to be deterred, he simply began instructing Tommy around the room instead, having him be his eyes and hands, asking him to tell him if this was loose or if that was any different temperature than the rest. Tommy thought it was _super_ boring since he had no idea what Techno was actually _looking_ for, but still better than staring at the ceiling, he guesses. In the middle of this, a slot Tommy didn't even notice in the door opened up, and shoved them in water and food. Tommy took it eagerly, happy for the distraction to listening to Techno murmur about wall strength, but he began to scold him,

"That could be pois- okay, or just eat it anyway with no hesitation."

"S'not poisoned, shut up and take yours before I steal it." Tommy said, sliding Techno's portion to where it was within his restricted reach. He inspected the food thoroughly, but eventually did decide to eat, to Tommy's relief. He himself was _starving_ , so he knew Techno probably wasn't any better off. 

Reassured his brother wasn't going to drop dead of starvation, he leaned back in his bed and asked,

"So why d'you think they kidnapped us?" 

Techno seemed to consider his answer very cautiously.

"Well… we're royalty I guess, so, probably money." 

Tommy scoffed,

"That's a dumb reason."

"You'd be surprised, it's the reason for a lot of dumb things." 

"Yeah, well, they’re not even gonna get any. Dad'll probably find us before then, or we'll escape, right?"

Techno made some noncommittal noise and went back to eating. He didn't want to squash Tommy's hopes or anything, but as whatever drug they'd given him cleared from his head, he was beginning to be heavily dubious about that first option. Regardless of how much Techno knew he was going to try, his father would likely not have much to go on. The group that had taken them was apparently very good, all things considered. They had given no clues to their identity thus far, and might have left even less at the actual crime scene. Techno knew the crown would have no leads otherwise, as they kept track of a lot of the goings on of many crime rings. But to his memory, _none_ of them had the ability to pull off something like this. A new group, then? A new alliance they somehow hadn't heard of?

Yeah, Techno assumed the rescue route was sure to be slow going. That leaves them only one other option, one that Techno could feel getting more and more difficult with each second that ticked by, escape.

\----------

Tommy could tell Technoblade was already thinking up more possible details of their cell for him to check out when the door began to rattle, being unlocked. Tommy sat up on his bed as a group of people stepped in, all wearing weird masks hiding their faces, except for one guy in the front. This guy had on a stupid looking fancy suit, wore weird facial hair, and had big stupid horns on either side of his head. Tommy was planning on roasting the shit out of him, when he spoke, mocking an accent as he proclaimed,

"My Princes! Oh, it is so, truly, an _honour_ to be your gracious host today." 

Techno's chains rattled quite loudly in protest as he immediately attempted to attack the man, only to, of course, get nowhere. 

"Oh, Prince Technoblade, I wouldn't do that if I were you." Horn Bitch scolded. 

Taking the opportunity while he was distracted, Tommy stood up himself, and launched himself at Horn Bitch with as much force as possible. Unfortunately, he wasn't looking at where the other non horned bitches were, and his hands were still tied, so he was quickly tackled unceremoniously onto the floor. Then, he was hoisted up while he was still dazed, sat on a chair that someone had apparently brought in, and tied even more securely to it.

"Alright, we all got that out of our systems? Any more stupid attempts? Come on, little Princey, I think you could do it! I'll give you a free shot!" He said to Tommy, leaning over towards him. Tommy, angered by the mocking, struggled in his seat.

"YOU ARE A BITCH!"

"No? Nothing? Good, moving on!" Horn Bitch said enthusiastically.

"Your majesties, I'm your GRACIOUS HOST! I'm J-fuckin-Schlatt baby!"

He spread his arms in pride, and looked happily upon the bound brothers. Tommy thought this was very stupid,

"WHY DID YOU KIDNAP US BITCHBOY? YOU’RE AN UGLY… RAM THING!" Tommy insisted, still angry enough to forget about caution.

" _Very_ good question! I will not be answering it, but good, yeah, nice. You see, I've actually got questions for _you_ two." He said, propping himself on the back of Tommy's chair. Techno snorted a laugh, the first time breaking his silence. 

"Something amusing over there?"

"Yeah, your plan is stupid, not well thought out, and it will quickly fail." 

The Jschlatt guy laughed again, like Techno had just told him a super funny joke. What an idiot, Tommy thought, Techno didn't _know_ any good jokes.

"Oh, that's priceless. But hey, humour me, why do you think so?"

"Okay, it's obvious you want information. But if you'd spent two seconds researching, you'd know that Tommy doesn't know shit about the castle. He doesn't know any royal secrets. I'm surprised he knows where his room is."

"Yeah! Wait-"

"And if you want to try and get info from me? Well… you won't. You picked the wrong Princes, ‘Jschlatt’, we are both useless to you."

Schlatt laughed again. 

"Oh, wow, only you could make explaining the joke funny, Prince Technoblade. I've _done_ my research, and don't you worry, I have no doubt in my mind that _you_ would never voluntarily give me anything. You both appear to be missing the obvious here, though."

"What, bitch! You just mad because Technoblade called you stupid?"

Schlatt ignored Tommy.

"I wonder, my Prince, I really do… they say you're heartless, you know. A stone cold, ruthless killer. It makes me wonder…"

Schlatt places a threatening hand on Tommy's shoulder.

"What information would you give me to protect your baby brother?"

Techno says nothing, just suppresses his horror as he puts it all together in his head. His chains, shorter than necessary, to keep him from Tommy. Tommy, bound to that chair, masked goons surrounding him… 

He makes sure to keep his same, neutral expression, despite the fact he’s freaking out. Tommy twists in his seat, looking back at Schlatt, asking an incredulous,

"What!? What the fuck are you on about?" 

"Let's start simple, shall we? Real easy. Just to start.”

Tommy is looking back and forth from Techno to Schlatt, confusion clear on his face. He doesn't understand he's in danger.

“How tall is our beloved King Philza? See, that's not even confidential it's literally- that's such an easy question. Answer it for me."

"Short as fuck!" Tommy adds in confidently. Techno just maintains his glare, and says nothing.

"Technoblade, c'mon, don't make me spell this out for you."

A few seconds go by, and no one speaks.

"My Prince, if you don't answer my question, I'm going to hit him. And if you can't answer this simple, easy question about King Philza's _height_..."

Techno is watching Tommy carefully, and he sees it on his face when their situation clicks. There’s a small moment of contemplation, then he’s masking it, puffing his chest out and yelling to him,

"You're a bitch! Don't even worry about it Techno, look at him, he sucks! I can take him!" 

Techno hates this. Of course, he has no doubt that Tommy probably _could_ handle it, but there's no way. Techno refuses to entertain the notion.

"He's about 5' 9"."

"I- _Tech!_ "

"It's just his height, Tomms, that's like, public knowledge."

"Yeah, I _know_ , that's not the _point,_ he's gettin in your head big man! Don't answer anything!" 

Techno knew that too, he knew that answering these simple questions would undoubtedly lead to worse and worse ones, but he didn't care. He didn't fucking care, there's no way he was letting this happen.

"How many stories is the castle?"

"Four, at the highest points."

"Oh, Prince Technoblade, you know, it's a bad idea to lie."

"What?" Techno asked, confused, "That's not a fucking lie, the- oh... no, wait, yeah. Okay, the southeastern tower is five. I forgot about that, sue me." 

Schlatt glares at him icily, before turning to Tommy and smacking him, full force. Techno can't help it, he jumps up and struggles against his chains,

" _TOMMY!_ "

"M'fine, big man, I'm fine! Shit, Tech, you've hit me harder than that sparring, y'know? This guy's a bitch if that's all he can do!" Tommy smiles at him, reassuring, though Techno can clearly see the mark on his face.

Technoblade pulls at the cuffs fiercely, and glares, _enraged,_ at Schlatt. He's immensely satisfied to see the man flinch, ever so slightly, under his anger.

" _That's not the deal_ , I didn't lie to you! I _forgot._ " Techno protests. Schlatt smirks back at him, looking incredibly amused all of a sudden.

"Oooooh is that not the _deal_ , Princey? I'm so sorry, your Majesty! I forgot our _deal-_ BUDDY, WE DON'T HAVE A DEAL! You better get this through your head _quickly_ , I don't care what you're used to in the castle, you are _not_ the one with the fucking power here! Get your shit together, or it's gonna be _his_ problem." He jerks his thumb over to Tommy. 

"Understand?!" 

Techno continued with his dirty look, but when he didn't answer, Schlatt grabbed Tommy roughly by the shirt,

" _Understand?_ " 

"Yes," Techno spat. At this admission, Schlatt released him. 

"I'm sick of these two for today. I'll be back tomorrow, and Prince Technoblade, you'd better think long and hard about what you're going to do, because tomorrow, trial period's over."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 👁👄👁 ram man bad


	4. Uneasy Truce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Particular Chapter CWs

The most annoying part of being kidnapped, Tommy decided, was the waiting. There was no window in the room they were in, so there was no real way to tell time, aside from the second meal that they got what was probably a few hours later. After the idiots cut Tommy free of his chair, all they could do was... wait. Stare at the wall. Or the ceiling, which did admittedly have a semi interesting water stain. It kind of looked like a ravager if you tilted your head right! But Technoblade refused to look at it to agree or disagree.

Technoblade also refused all of his other attempts at entertainment, making the only other thing to do was to watch him rapidly create and scrap escape plans. About nine ideas in, he finally asked Tommy,

"You can pick locks?"

"I can." He agreed.

"What do you need? I- wait-" He reached into his hair, and pulled out a hair pin,

"Will this actually help? Or is that like a stereotype?"

Tommy laughed, surprised that he actually had one,

"Jeez, mate, you _sleep_ with your hair all fancy like that? But, uh, yeah, actually it can. I need something else though. Something flat?"

Techno thought for a second, and shuffled around in his pockets. Nothing. He looked stumped for another moment, then looked down at his sleeve. His stupid fancy shirts he wore to bed had cufflinks on them, he took them off and offered them to Tommy. 

"Uh. Thank you...? But these won't really help with anything unless they're flatter." 

Techno nodded, and took them back. Tommy thought that was the end of it, but he braced them against the floor, raised a fist, and slammed his cuffs into them. Tommy jerked in surprise at the noise, but realised he was trying to hammer them into shape! Before he could decide if that was genius or stupid, Techno handed him back the cufflinks, which were now somehow flat.

Holy shit. Genius, then. Tommy turned excitedly to sit down on Techno's bed with him, and work on the lock on one of his cuffs. 

It was slightly strange, being in close proximity to Technoblade, since he usually wasn't very touchy-feely. Tommy felt like he hadn't been permitted to sit next to him like this for this long since they were kids. Which was fine of course, boundaries n shit, but given the circumstances... it was kind of comforting to be close to his brother. Of course, he wasn’t gonna say any of that. But maybe that sentimentality was what possessed him to hesitantly ask,

"Tech?"

"Yeah?"

"We're gonna… we're gonna be okay, right?" 

But Tommy then immediately backtracked, 

"Ah, sorry, stupid question… 'course we are."

Techno looked at Tommy, very uneasy at this turn of conversation. He wasn't necessarily surprised, though. He could see Tommy was worried, despite how much he tried to hide it. He was young, and this situation was very frightening, the kid probably needed reassurance, right? Thats what he was asking for? Okay, uh, reassurances...

"Yeah, we'll be okay." Techno said, even though he could hear in his own voice how stiff it sounded. He added on, genuinely this time, "I won't let them hurt you." 

And he was dead serious about that. He wasn’t letting anyone touch his family, ever. He would kill Schlatt himself before he would let him get his slimy hands on-

"No, no, you have to, though." Tommy argued, interrupting Techno's quickly spiralling thoughts. Techno looked at Tommy, very thrown off.

"What?!" 

Tommy, too calmly, paused his fiddling with Techno's lock, and explained, 

"Tech… you heard them, they're looking for information on the castle. You… have to let them do whatever they're gonna do."

" _No._ " Techno spat, his normal monotone shattered, he sounded horrified. Tommy didn't let that deter him, though. 

"So what, we tell them whatever they want? So they can use that information to attack Dad and Willbur while we're gone?"

"They're protected." He curtly shot back.

" _Please,_ the army's shit without you."

"What?! I trained those soldiers myself dude-"

"The point _is,_ Dad's gonna be freaking out! Everything's gonna be spread thin after an abduction like this! If- if someone were to get like, detailed information about the castle's security right now? That could be fucking _bad._ And you're going to let that happen just to keep me from taking a fucking punch?!"

Techno gritted his teeth, keeping him from replying with a resounding _YES._ Because god, _yes,_ he was absolutely willing to do that.

But… another part of him, perhaps a more logical part, had to agree with the amount of sense Tommy was making, it was something he was thinking as well, but he was surprised Tommy had the same concern. He was smarter than he seemed, Techno was vividly reminded. 

Tommy puts a hesitant hand on his brother's, an attempt at comfort,

"Hey, c'mon big man, I've been punched loads of times before! I mean, have you _met_ me?" He half heartedly jokes. Techno did not laugh, but Tommy pressed on,

"We've got to let this happen…"

"I'm not letting anyone hurt you." Techno said, but Tommy continued as if he hadn't heard the protest,

"I'll tell you what I can't handle, y'know, if it… if I need to."

Technoblade stood up abruptly, whirling back on Tommy and insisting,

"NO! TOMMY, THIS- THIS IS NOT A CONVERSATION."

Tommy didn't react at the sudden anger, simply continued to explain,

"It is a conversation, it has been a conversation since Horn Bitch walked in with his dumb plan. It's up to us to keep our family safe-"

"WHAT ABOUT YOU, TOMMY? I HAVE TO KEEP _YOU_ SAFE."

Tommy's resolve to remain calm finally cracked, and he threw his hands up, exasperated. He couldn't _believe_ Techno was being so difficult about this.

"Okay, then what about the _Empire_? As Princes, we're supposed to protect the people, right? You saying you'd just throw them under the bus?!"

Techno turned away from him, and began to pace as much as he was able to. Tommy, familiar with his brothers mannerisms, recognised this as him finally coming to to terms, and sat down again patiently to let him stew.

Techno continued pacing, refusing to look at Tommy. He hated this. He hated that Tommy had a point. He hated his stupid, passionately brave idiot of a brother, willing to do _this_... He bit back nausea, disgusted by what he was about to do, about to agree to allow…

"So you've just- you've just made up your mind about this then?"

"There isn't any other option."

"If you- the _second_ you tell me you can't-"

"I will, Techno, I will. I promise. It's okay."

Techno walked back to the bed, and gave Tommy a one armed hug. Tommy froze, surprised by it, but eventually melted into his brother's side, knowing that was the closest Techno ever got to _I_ _love you_.

\-----------------  
  


Techno insisted he try to go to sleep, but Tommy was seriously struggling. First of all, he was listening to Techno's non stop snoring, something Tommy had forgotten he even did. Second, he just couldn't relax, and he had no fucking idea how his brother could. Tommy desperately wished he could speak to his best friend, Tubbo, or his father, or hear one of Wilbur's songs. Unfortunately, the only thing he had to remind him of home was Techno's nose sounding like a chainsaw every time he breathed. He swore, when he got home, he was never taking his quiet, peaceful bedroom for granted ever again. Tommy screwed his eyes shut, and tried to think about nothing, tried to pretend Techno's snores were something else…

He tried to pretend they were zombies, growling their nonsense as they walked around the dark parts of the castle grounds, and he tried to pretend he was with Tubbo, and that they had crossbows, and were about to have a big competition to see who could shoot the most from their spot safe on the balcony. He tried to imagine how Tubbo would land a headshot, always the better archer, and how Tommy would try and argue his points down, try to make his shots seem superior even if they weren’t…

He tried to imagine his father coming to them, scolding them both half heartedly for being up late, but still allowing them to watch as he flew downstairs to get rid of them. He tried to imagine watching in awe as his father disposed of them like they were nothing. How he would brag to Tubbo that he could definitely kill loads more than him.

Safe in his thoughts, being arm in arm with Tubbo, under the watchful eye of his father, he somehow found himself sinking into sleep soon after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmm delicious angst
> 
> I hate dialogue sometimes man it's so annoying


	5. It Begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter CWs: Violence, Child Abuse, Mentions of Alcohol

Techno watched Tommy jolt awake an indeterminate amount of time later, pleased that they both managed to have gotten a few hours of sleep. Soon after he woke, Tommy decided to go back to fiddling with the lock on his cuffs, citing the fact that they had literally nothing else to do. Techno watched curiously as he explained how he thought the locks were very old, making them slightly easier to work with. He kept saying how he felt like he was _almost_ there, that he only had one or two more springs left… when they both heard the bolt on the door slide open. Techno snatched the supplies from him and hid them, and then, fuck it, pulled Tommy closer to him.

Schlatt walked in, flanked by more masked people. Techno figured that all but Schlatt himself were being instructed to hide their identities, since Schlatt's was the only face they'd seen. Lucky them.

He yawned, poured what looked like vodka into his coffee mug, and started rambling,

"What's up, pussies? Sleep okay? Let me tell you- I hate it when I have work here, it's too fucking cold. Like, honestly, it was _snowing_ earlier. What the fuck?!" 

He takes a swig of his drink, turns from his ramblings to one of his masked assistants, and hands them his cup.

“Fuckin’- uh, can you take this- can you put this somewhere? Thanks." 

The woman begrudgingly took it away, shooting him what Techno could only interpret as a dirty look under her mask. Tommy and Techno exchange bewildered glances themselves at his… he’ll call it _unprofessionalism_. 

Sclatt shook his head as if to refocus back in on Techno and Tommy.

“Alright, business time, I guess."

Techno pulls Tommy closer on instinct, but Schlatt is having none of it. He jerks his head to his people and simply orders,

"Get the kid.”

A group of them walk forward, but Techno keeps Tommy protectively behind him.

“I wouldn’t.” Techno warns. He doesn’t care, he doesn’t care if he didn’t have a weapon, _he’ll kill all of them_. 

“Oh, fucking- not this shit again. Here, give me-” Schlatt reached for something lazily, and someone handed him something- a crossbow. He points it vaguely at them both. 

“Kid, up.” 

Techno tightens his grip on Tommy, but he already knows he’s lost. Tommy would comply, not wanting either of them to get hurt. Not wanting _Techno_ to get hurt. He's already trying to squirm out of his reach,

“Tommy, don’t-” 

The bastard is too quick, he gets out from behind him, and stands beyond where his chains will allow him to reach. Outside of Techno’s protection. _In danger_.

“In your chair, buddy. And Prince Technoblade, look, there's really no need to worry, okay? You're gonna tell me all I need to know, so really, this should all just be a technicality.” Schlatt says, smiling the whole while as Tommy is tied. Techno does his best to not react to that, and calms himself down by imagining how Schlatt's head might look on a fucking stick...

\-----------------

Four questions.

Techno manages all of four questions keeping Tommy out of harm. Innocuous, simple stuff about the castles structure, daily goings on. Tommy didn't even protest him telling Schlatt, the stuff seemed so trivial. It was purposeful, he knew, used to lull him into a false sense of security, but he answers them anyway. And then,

"When do the guards change shifts?"

It gives him involuntary pause. Techno knew, of course he did. But that stuff was kept private for a _reason_ , changed frequently so that people couldn't take advantage of-

A second later, Tommy's cry of pain rings out. 

"It- it changes-"

"TECHNO!"

"On days-"

"TECHNO STOP BEING A FUCKING IDIOT!"

He met Tommy's enraged stare, and took a deep breath. Okay. No, he was right. Tommy didn't even look phased, if he was being honest with himself. 

"Hm, am I gonna have to gag you? Really, it's rude to interrupt someone. You were saying?"

Techno considered just giving him a lie, but he was hesitant. Apparently, Schlatt knew _some_ details about the castle, and might be able to tell if he tried. What's the likelihood that he _did_ know, and that this was a test? He supposed the guards schedules weren't an _airtight_ seal, they have families who'd obviously like to know when they work, and friends who they might chat to about it… But was Schlatt even that detailed? Assuming he was even the-

Schlatt breaks him out of his thoughts with an annoying fake buzzer sound.

"Sorry, your highness, time's up, final answers, now."

"They switch every 8 hours. 9am, 5pm, 1am." He said. It wasn't a _total_ lie, they _did_ sometimes do that. 

"Hmm." Schlatt mused, "Interestingly, I'm having a rough time believing you."

"They do, man."

"Sure, sure, fine. How many guards are on payroll?"

Tommy chimed in,

"Pft, who are you, a tax guy? You need them accounting numbers?" he mocks. Schlatt sighs, turns to a guard at the door, and simply instructs, 

"Gag."

The man immediately moves to obey, and Techno watches Tommy flash him a fearful, pleading look, before yelling,

"Hey- HEY! No need for- man, I was just _kidding,_ I was- it was a joke! Dude, dude, come o- _please-_ " And then, Tommy's voice is nothing but muffled sound. Techno's heart hurts for him. He knew the one thing his brother generally relied on was his ability to talk, to joke, to charm his way out of things, that was his constant. A gag must be to Tommy like being, well, weaponless and chained to a goddamn wall was to him. Helpless. 

"How many guards?"

"86."

"And how many in the Southwest wing?"

Tommy immediately strains in his chair, violently shaking his head _no, no, no_ , and he knows immediately why. Techno knows that castle better than anyone, he knows there was only one person's rooms in that area. Their fathers.

Techno can't answer this! He can't expose their potential weaknesses like this, especially not his _father's_ , not when he wasn’t there to protect him… 

Schlatt waves his crossbow idly around Tommy's shoulder,

"Princey, you might know this better than me, do you think that if I hit the right spot, it would dislocate it? Or tear some muscle? I failed science class, so, beats me. Maybe it'd hit something that you can't sew back together, oh, and he certainly isn't getting any _potions_ down here. I mean, I'm sure you'd be fine one-armed, right kid?"

Tommy met his gaze, and instead of the horror he expected to see, the horror he was sure was on his, he looked determined. He shakes his head once. No.

Seeing Tommy’s stupid, stupid unwavering loyalty shatters something in Techno's composure. He lets out a barely perceptible sound of protest, because he knows his brother is willing… willing to get fucking _shot_ for this. How horribly commendable of him. How terribly unjust. For one of the first times in his life, Techno feels woefully inadequate compared to his brother.

Schlatt smiles wide at Techno, at his audible admission of weakness. 

"Oh, Prince Technoblade, please, there's no need for such _hysterics!_ All you have to do is tell me, and I won't _need_ to hurt him!"

Tommy straightens his posture confidently and muffles a sound, pleased. Confident in his brother, confident that he wouldn’t put their father in danger. 

Techno feels horribly guilty that it's misplaced.

"17."

Tommy makes a sound that could only be a horrified scream, but Techno just grits his teeth, and says again,

"17. 17 guards on patrol on a normal night, they- spread throughout."

His protests double, but Techno purposefully avoided eye contact with Tommy, keeping his gaze trained on Schlatt.

"Oh, how _interesting_." Schlatt commented, as if they were talking about the fucking weather. Techno hated it, hated him.

"What's the codeword for access to the King's Quarters?"

"What? No! No, there's no way-"

Schlatt raises a curious eyebrow, points the crossbow, and fires. A scream of pain rang out, at the exact moment an arrow found its home in Tommy's leg. The sound was cut off quickly, and in between Tommy's heaving breaths, he shook his head again. 

"STOP! Stop, okay, for- for emergencies, we say that Friend, Wilbur's sheep-"

Techno flinched when he heard Tommy's scream of horror,

"We say he needs to be sheared. It's- it's an in-joke. It'll grant you access to most places, people will think it's urgent."

"That's just adorable, isn't it?" Schlatt cooed, then turned to a guard, 

"Make sure he's not gonna die from that, by the way? I'll remind you _none_ of us get paid if he dies, so…"

A masked man came forward, and began to hastily bandage Tommy's leg, and when it came time to pull the arrow, Techno couldn't watch- he screwed his eyes shut before he had to watch it come out.

He could not extend that luxury to his hearing, though. No, he heard the resulting twisted scream in perfect clarity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you can tell I have no idea how castles work no you can't ❤  
> poor techno ): ): ):


	6. After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter CWs: Violence, Mentions of Death

Perhaps Tommy should be angry with him.

Perhaps he should be fuming, enraged Techno did not hold up his end of the agreement. Perhaps he should be screaming from the betrayal, of both him and of their family, perhaps he should be calling Techno colourful swear words and be stomping about the room.

But when it was over, Tommy staring blankly at the ceiling ravager, he discovered he just couldn't find any anger in him. Not for any lack of searching, but the only thing he could find within himself was aching amounts of _tired._ Tommy was very, very tired.

Techno told them the castle's layout, guard changes, details about the perimeter, and loads more that he couldn't conjure in his memory right now. What was vivid in his mind was what Techno would not say. At least, what he wouldn't say at _first_. He was always persuaded, and Tommy felt the remnants of blows all over him proving it, his leg being the worst.

Techno, across the room, sits processing the events as well. What he lands on as a response changes from varying levels of bloodlust to self disgust. He wants to kill them. He hates them. He hates himself. He's enraged at them for doing this. He's sick with himself for allowing it. Over and over, on shuffle.

He never considered himself one to sulk, but he supposes he's never had as much of reason to as he does now. He goes over it all, every single thing he could have done better. Every second of pain he could have spared Tommy. And on top of it all? He knows it can only get worse from here.

At that thought, Techno rips himself forcibly out of his own head, fed up with the inaction, and sits up. 

"Tommy?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm… I'm sorry."

Tommy sighs, “Don't be, big man, it’s alright."

"I'm sorry for what I'm about to do, too.”

Tommy just shoots him a questioning look, not bothering to ask aloud.

“I need you to unlock my cuffs"

Techno politely ignored how his brother grimaced at the thought of moving.

"Right now?"

"Right now."

Tommy takes a deep breath in preparation, then lifts himself up as smoothly as he could. He limps over, avoiding his hurt leg, and slumps down on Techno's bed. He silently begins to pick at the lock again. Thankfully, it wasn't long before it clicked open.

"Hell yeah, I am so fucking cool." Tommy brags, but Techno can hear his heart isn’t in it.

"Yes, you really are." Techno echoes softly. He repeated the process on the other cuff, and with the practice, it took even less time. 

Techno couldn't help but smile as he stood up and stretched for the first time in a while.

“Okay, look around, if we're doing this, I'd prefer it if we had a weapon."

"'Doing this'?"

"We're leaving, Tomms. I'm not putting you through that again."

Tommy smiled at him, more energy this time,

"Awesome! We're gonna kill some bitches!"

"I- Wha- no, we're no- okay, we might, but that's not- it's not awesome." Techno says.

"Hell are you talking about? You love killing people!"

"That's not strictly true, although yes, I will enjoy every second of killing _these_ people. I don't want _you_ to have to, though."

"Wha- are you saying I can't kill someone??" He scoffs, offended. 

In his state, no, Techno didn’t think he could, but he omits that part, and explains,

"I'm saying you shouldn't. I'm saying it fucks you up. I'm saying, stay behind me, so hopefully you won't have to."

Tommy rolls his eyes, but offers nothing more. After another once over of their cell, there was nothing they could use, so Techno resolved to go at this weaponless. He might even be able to pick something off the guard if there was time…

“Alright, let’s g-”

“ _Wait_ ” He grabs Techno by the shirt to stop him.

“Wha- Go where!? What the fuck are you doing!?”

“I’m going to break the door.” He said, as if it was obvious. “The hinges are rusty, and if I-”

Tommy looks at him, completely bewildered, and holds up a hand to stop him.

“Okay, okay, no. You’re fucking crazy. That is a stupid plan.”

“It’s the only way to get it open!”

“Okay, _or_ … we get the guard to open it?”

“Why would they do that?”

Tommy smiles at him, mischief in his eyes for the first time since before they got here,

“Because they all think Schlatt is an idiot, and because they want to get paid?”

“I… I’m not following you.” Techno admits. 

Tommy just gestures at him to be quiet, then moves back until he is out of the way. Techno looks at him confused, but seems to be allowing him to try out his plan before going all battering ram. And you know what, fuck it, authenticity, right? Before things like common sense can stop him, he smacks himself in the leg where the arrow was-

 _FUCK…_ Holy hell, that hurts, his voice sounds convincingly agonised when he calls out to the guard they know is waiting outside,

“Hey, guard maaan? There’s something wrong with my leg? It’s gone all… uh, weird? Do you guys have a medic?”

There’s a single moment of tense silence, before the person is unlocking the door,

“Show me it, I fuckin knew Schlatt shouldn’t have-”

Techno moves like an enderman or some shit the second the guard stepped in, and the man was very quickly no longer among the living. Techno is so happy with Tommy’s plan, _and_ the fact that he got to swipe a sword from the guards body, he pulls him into a hug. A full one, with _two_ arms! Tommy thinks that might be a new record.

They were, as expected, in a basement. They found the stairs in the room they were in, and quickly ascended them, Techno trying to support Tommy as best he could. There was another door at the top, and Techno set his ear against it to listen. 

He explained he heard people talking, but it sounded like they were further off to the right. They might not be immediately visible if they were smart about how they left. Then, the person posted at the door, shifted their weight, confirming their presence to Techno. Fatal mistake.

He cracked the door open enough room for him to reach for their throat, and then in a flash, Techno was soundlessly dragging another body away. 

"From what I saw, I don't think there's any walls we can hide behind out there, we might be exposed." 

"Let me look, I'm smaller than you." When Techno shot him a skeptical look, he insisted, 

"I'll be subtle!"

"I don't think you've ever been subtle a day in your life, but fine."

Tommy peaked his head out. The room was pretty boring, wood walls, wood floors. Directly in front of their door faced an archway leading to a kitchen, and to Tommy's right, a table and chairs, holding a bunch of their idiot captors. They were chatting, blissfully unaware of their surveillance. 

Two more idiots were posted at what must be the exit, and Techno was right. There was no way they could get to it without everyone noticing. Tommy knew his brother was strong, but a ten against one when he hadn't eaten, _and_ had an injured person to worry about? He disliked the odds. He shut the door. 

"Okay, quickly, describe the room to me."

Tommy weighed the situation, and made his decision. Impromptu as it might be, he knew it would work. 

"It's simple, Tech, okay? All you need to do is go straight to the right, run, and don't stop." 

"You saw an exit? Okay, where are the guards? How many are-"

"Technoblade."

"What?"

Tommy grabbed his hand, and smiled sadly up at him. 

"Just run fast, alright? I love you, you absolute wanker."

"Wh-" 

He didn't give him the chance to think, Tommy shoves the door open, and yells, 

"HEY DICKHEADS! I KNOW ANOTHER WORD FOR CAT THAT IS A SWEAR!"

Before anyone can react, Tommy heads in the other direction from the front door, adrenaline allowing him to ignore the protests his leg gives him. His distraction works, he hears people frantically bumbling after him. He sees stairs leading upwards to another floor, something hidden from his view from the basement's corridor, and happily bolts up them, leading the guards further away. The stairs give way to a hallway, and Tommy reaches for the first door his hands can touch-

He's face to face with Schlatt, on his way out at the same time Tommy barged in, looking quite confused. 

Oh, how some things just worked out for the best.

"Hello Jschlatt!" Tommy cheered, before proceeding to punch him squarely in the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) hey guys :) :) how are we feeling :) :) :)


End file.
